June 25, 2002 10:05 PM

I realized what keeps me from meeting more people is my insecurity when conversing with someone new. Social convention calls for some kind of basis for a conversation - "hey, I like your band," or "nice shoes" - and I'm not good at drawing upon these in a sincere manner. I couldn't approach a male without feeling awkward, and even moreso with a female, as it would lead them to believe that I'm looking for a date (which I particularly wouldn't be looking for). Not to mention the sort of people I'd like to meet are often senior to myself, which doesn't help the situation any.

This desperation of meeting new people is largely attached to the fact that I feel that my life has stagnated and lacks luster. That's probably why I enjoy speaking to people online, but it definitely doesn't and can't act as a replacement. Text cannot transpose the intimacy and warmth of a physical interaction. I only have two friends I regularly hang out with, and as you can imagine it can get boring. I yearn to find more people I can relate to, and would hopefully result in my life becoming more interesting.

Introspective fun. Didn't I sound smart.