Paul Simon takes my bus every morning. It must be fun to be Paul Simon, humming gay tunes you wrote with your poofy-haired companion many years ago.

My parents have decided that I should begin budgetting on my own, so I am to be issued a $120-dollar bill monthly to my soon-to-be-established debit card to pay for my school food and such. I figure if I eat enough peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I can keep about a $100 of it. Hello, new Cat Power...