January 16, 2004 6:47 PM

I've made it my (life's?) work to mount an angular and porpelled attack against the food service via my comment-card prose. There is no reason for the food being so bad, yet costing so much. I feel like the dishes are cruel and always failed experiments. My passion is as limitless as their unwavering ability to disappoint even the most comfortably defeated eater. I will ask the unanswerable, formulate questions of the most caustic acidity. I will win.

And I stole a fat wad of napkins.