January 12, 2006 11:29 PM

So I was listening to stuff I recorded 3 years ago and Jesus it threw me off. I don't understand how emotions can be thoroughly and accurately reproduced by a simple, asinine song. I was in high school again, but embarassingly aware how privately coded the music I wrote and emulated was. But listening to it felt good. It incited intense want for that self-aggrandizing, self-mutilating, stand-up-to-sit-down way of doing things. I could be as angry and stupid as I wanted to be, because my parents and their empathy and love and money allowed me that privilege. So I say, if God's real, then heaven must be being his teenage son.