So my thesis is: I feel like I'm missing the point; I didn't find any revealing watermarks on my birth certificate, voting ballot, or acceptance letters, and I'm afraid that I'll soon forget my optimism; and the worse thing is, when I'm the only one left, and everyone else has resolved to themselves, "well, that was an end of an era," clearly with something to rivet their wayfinding shoulders and heads, no one will be around to tell me, "look up, you should know better," and there has been no time in my life so far when I didn't depend on that