July 13, 2006 8:31 PM

This evening I played guitar and tried make a song for an hour. I didn't really expect to produce one, and mostly just played through tunes I knew to get a feel for melody and my sense of musical movement again. It was extremely frustrating. My hands were terribly out-of-shape and were aching within minutes. My voice held up, but it could (always) be developed in some way. There no question about it, writing music is hard, and people who've never stopped making music never know that. I think my problem is I've become too dissolved and transparent as a listener. My friend-singer once asked my other friend-guitarist while recording, "what are our influences?" It's not as superficial a question as it sounds. Knowing and asserting influences shows a commitment to a particular mode of expressing yourself. Right now I'm completely lost in the vast range of The Music I Love, and have to re-commit to something. Until then, all I'm capable of is jibberish.