March 26, 2010 9:54 PM

Yesterday was the first time I ever got pissed at the airport. Why is it that flying has to be so stressful? Why do the TSA agents have to be so thorough? Did they really do a final call for my plane, literally 10 meters away, without me hearing it? I never felt so tired, deflated, and broke in my life. But I let it win me over, and in the end it wasn't bad, I just turned myself off for the 12 hours and let my misfortune take its natural course.

Now, all there's left is to return to normal. Tour sets your body and mind at a tilt, and wears your nerves. Even when you're lucky enough to be outside of the car, it can be difficult to relax. Familiarity is in favorite truckstop foods; domesticity, a shower. Your bandmates start looking strange, and maybe act it a little too. You get used to things passing by, and it can become burdensome when they don't, and alienating when you stop moving. I don't think I've figured out touring yet. I only say that because I feel somewhat obliged to like it, yet remain ambivalent. This tour, like the others I've been on, was filled with some intense and beautiful experiences, but not unfettered with exhaustion, boredom, and stress. Is this just how it works, or can it be better, refined to clearer, less muddled state? I guess I'll learn more, the next time around.

Biking into the driveway, I began thinking about what it is I want out of living, about the places I've been and the place where I live, and asking myself yet again whether all of this is good enough, and if it isn't then why isn't it, and so on. This led to me considering how much of what's important in my life is the interactions I have with other people, and how they shape and influence my perceptions of my environment and judgements I make within it. I decided that there must be a way to classify these experiences in different ways, and develop a taxonomy of human interactions, thus by which I could determine how much of what sort I require in order to flourish (in a vaguely Aristotelian sense). Based on this knowledge, I could more accurately evaluate and standardize my present living situation and city in a nutritional fact-like breakdown, and use it to compare against other possibilities. Somehow the highly flatulent conceptualism of this idea is enticing to me, and though downright farcical, I'm willing to believe it long enough for it to kind of work. I'll start on it tomorrow and report in.