March 29, 2015 9:15 PM

My intuition was not wrong; Lady Interest and I had a nice chat after another one of her shows, and I ended up with her number. I was floating all the way home, of course. The slope has gone slippery now, a loving mixtape has been made, and I find myself pressed against those big opaque questions. I don’t want to fuck this one up, or get prematurely serious, or let the romantic vertigo fully unhinge me. I hope I’m strong enough to maintain my balance and realistic perspective, and be honest and open.

Fast-forward a week now. On 20th and Mission, she’s smiling with her big aviator frames, and I’m smiling hungry-dumb and jean-squeezed and feeling slightly over-exposed in the raw sunlight. We chomp sandwiches and talk basics. She’s a Bay native and has lived on both sides and variously up and down. We connect about our experiences as musicians, bikes, our place in the today and now and here, and the things we do and don’t. It was all very pleasant, and I left not feeling like I wasted my day, nor roiling in romantic ecstasy. Having very little experience dating but plenty of experience with unnecessary roiling, I consider it a huge success. I didn’t love Oakland immediately when I visited, but I came to learn its beautiful ways in time; I believe this can be true for people too. For a long while I’ve struggled with the notion of The Perfect Type, that your partner should take some particular shape or style that will so perfectly nest and complement yours. But everything points to this being wrong-headed. How could such an ideal be possible or knowable or stable, when so much about myself is unknowable and unstable and influenced by what I ate for breakfast or what I dreamt or read or how cloudy the day? It’s presumptuous to expect anyone to be a certain shape, when my shape is probably weird and shifting too. All I can trust for sure is my desire to understand and openness to learn, and appreciate how warm and patient and considerate another person can be with you. It may not seem like much, but these qualities are powerful and expansive and only lead to good things.