June 13, 2002 7:11 AM

I've never had a girlfriend before. Not that I'm the only one, but it seems as if I have some sort of obligation by the age 17 to have at least some semblence of that experience. I might have gone on something which someone might call a date, but I doubt the feeling was mutual.

Why did I mention this? For your pity. Be firm and don't give it to me.

EDITOR'S ANNOTATION [6/1/2003]: Like I said, for the MOST part...